Transformation: Diary of a man on his way to being a woman

Before starting this chronicle, I want to clarify that everything narrated here is real. It's not fantasy or literary creation, but the process I'm currently living. If what you read resonates with you, especially if you're a dominant male interested in guiding this transformation, you can contact me directly. This is my story, my process.

I'm 30 years old. When you look at me, you see a complete man: beard, masculine body, deep voice, body hair. No one would suspect that beneath this conventional appearance, a different reality exists. A reality that I've hidden, denied, and finally accepted.

I always knew I was different. Initially, the "gay" label seemed sufficient to explain who I was. But over time, I understood that my difference went beyond sexual orientation. It wasn't just about attraction to other men, but a deeper internal dissonance.

I didn't feel like a woman. I didn't want to change my external appearance or be socially recognized as feminine. However, something within me deeply rejected the male sexual role. It was a constant contradiction: appreciating my male body while feeling that my male genitals didn't correspond to my true internal nature.

For years, I lived confused, unable to find a framework that explained my reality. Until I discovered that I wasn't alone, that there were others like me: men who were externally masculine but internally female. Men who wanted to maintain their beard, voice, and masculine social appearance while transforming their internal sexuality into a completely feminine one.

The revelation came during a casual relationship with an older, dominant man. I remember the moment perfectly. We were in his apartment, and after using me, he looked at me fixedly and said, "You're not a passive man. You're a female trapped in a male body." His words were like an electric shock. Not because of their crudeness, but because they articulated something I had always felt but never been able to name.

After that night, my fantasies changed. I no longer just dreamed of being penetrated by other men. Now I imagined my body being transformed internally. I dreamed of being castrated, of having a vagina instead of a penis, but maintaining my completely masculine external appearance. The contrast was irresistibly exciting: being perceived as a man while internally being the perfect female for a dominant male.

I began to investigate obsessively. I discovered terms like "nullification," "male-to-female-internal," and "masc female." I found forums where others shared similar experiences. I read about medical procedures, surgical options, and selective hormone treatments. Each new piece of information confirmed my intuition: there was a path for me, a possibility of aligning my internal reality with my body without sacrificing my masculine social identity.

The turning point came just a few weeks ago. A casual relationship with someone who seemed to understan...