Decisions (Part II)

Sunday withdrew to that one at 10 in the morning, leaving only Santiago, restless and annoyed.

He was not annoyed with Sunday, but with himself. Yes, he had had a great time, had experienced unknown pleasure, had sought and desired it, but not in the terms he had envisioned. What bothered and disturbed him was that he had lost control, leaving himself at the expense of another will. It disturbed him that a distinct and superior will to his had controlled him without much difficulty, only at the cost of exploiting his desire.

It was a painful and dangerous realization. It blurred what he thought and expected of himself.

He was also disturbed that it was not simple curiosity to explore his bisexuality, but that it seemed to be part of his true identity. There was nothing he had experienced that had disgusted him, nothing. There were no limits. He questioned whether being homosexual was his true identity and if it was not time to assume it.

He thought about it and it produced panic in him. He had never thought about it before.

Those thoughts crossed with the vivid memory of the moments he had enjoyed with Sunday. He desired and feared him. He adopted, very much against his will, the firm conviction to keep distance from his partner: he had exposed himself too much. It was time to stop and not deviate, he could be throwing everything away.

In the following days, with great effort and with an action that involved self-control and discipline, he maintained a considerable distance from Sunday. Those who were unaware of the relationship, that is, almost everyone, might have come to the conclusion that they were not close or acquaintances and maybe even distant and unsympathetic people.

Sunday, experienced in these situations, confident and secure, did not do anything to confront or represent him. He kept his distance and maintained similar behavior. He was not in a hurry, he knew that time would tell.

But if for Sunday that attitude of disdain and condescension towards Santiago was natural, without any effort, for Santiago it was an emotionally exhausting task. It was because he found Sunday, a handsome and attractive man, too exciting. The desire for his partner had not diminished in any sense or intensity.

He made a huge effort to concentrate and avoid him, not to look at him or approach him, he stopped going to the gym with him, they no longer had lunch together, and all their communication was reduced to work meetings or consultations about the projects each was analyzing.

Two weeks passed in this effort. Vain effort, at night, in the solitude of his room, he thought about Sunday and masturbated as if possessed, thinking about him, his body, his dominance, his powerful cock inside him.

On the Friday of the following week, he could no longer prolong the situation. After lunch, as soon as he arrived at his workplace, he approached Sunday, who was preparin...