The Bishop's Tale

The dawn would be when we set out again, somewhat sleepy and in silence. We all remembered the Captain's story, and I at least wanted to know its continuation, and I didn't question the truth of the tale, but some details seemed strange to me, like the collective orgasm he narrated. It's true that they say that hanged men get an erection at the moment they are hanged by the executioner and lose their footing on firm ground, and there were those who said that's why so many women and faggots were seen at public executions. I knew this was a legend, since every time I attended a similar spectacle, I saw people of all kinds there, including many children, as parents would often take their kids to give them a lesson in life and keep them from the wrong path. And I was excited by the punishment, yes, my own and others', yes; but that was due to my special tastes regarding the pleasures of the flesh, which few people shared.

We were all walking, then, silent and thoughtful, including the Captain, who seriously and haughtily led the group of pilgrims without speaking to anyone, and without giving anyone the opportunity to speak to him.

Around noon, we made a stop, and Mr. Bishop, standing up, addressed the entire group with a grave and thunderous voice, as is common among the clergy:

"Beloved brothers in Our Lord, listen to me! To make the journey more enjoyable and distract us from the hardships of the road, we agreed yesterday to tell entertaining stories among us, each one according to their knowledge. And so, yesterday we had the Captain's story, which entertained us well with his adventure, and left us wanting to know the continuation that would explain how he went from being a slave at sea to a high-ranking soldier at this very moment. But our desire cannot be demanding or forced: let's let the Captain rest for now, and he will tell us, if he thinks he should, how he went from one state to another, and our interest in listening to him will only grow. Allow me, therefore, if there is no other bidder of greater merit, to take the relay, and I hope that my story will be up to the level of our noble friend's."

Thus spoke the Bishop of Ulm, and no dissenting voice arose in the group, on the contrary, we all showed agreement and joy at this initiative.

And so, the Bishop told us his story.

THE STORY TOLD BY THE BISHOP OF ULM

First of all, do not think that, due to my condition as Bishop, I can be scandalized by the story of sodomites and faggots that the Captain wove for us. It is true that the Sacred Scripture, from Leviticus to Saint Paul, abominates men who lie with other men, but I assure you that there are secrets of confession much more terrible, despite the fact that faggotry occupies a lot of space in the files of inquisitors and preachers. The Church's obsession with fucking things may not be entirely healthy. And if you don't believe me, listen to the story I want to tell you.
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