Degradation

Since I discovered gay BDSM clubs, I lowered my level of degradation several notches. They are places where we bottoms are not people but flesh to humiliate.

We passive fags are not like tops; something inside us drives us toward increasingly extreme practices that reduce our self-esteem. It is not enough for us to suck cocks and swallow; many swallow urine because that destroys them more.

Our language changes. We do not ask to be fucked, but to be taken up the ass, and we do not only want cocks, we also want increasingly large dildos, but we do not want them to destroy our ass, but to dilate it.

I already spoke in other stories about The Paw, the club I have liked most in my life. A place where a fag ended up being an animal who only desired cock.

When it closed, the idea remained in my mind that I was already a slave and that any practice had appeal for me.

There are two things that hammer at my destroyed mind, two practices I have not yet done but that do not leave my thoughts: zoophilia and feminization.

Zoophilia with dogs is a fag’s dream; it reduces you to an animal, only that. Feminization is tied to domestic service or prostitution; both things completely destroy your mind, turn your life into a succession of humiliations. I know there are Masters who desire those practices; to them we are nothing more than trash.

I would be lying if I did not say that I have already been proposed things like that, and also practices as extreme as castration. My current Master does not want to castrate me or prostitute me, but many Masters do not last.

I am what my life as a slave has made of me: a bitch thirsty for semen and humiliation. Will I last with my current Master? Something tells me no.