Cock warmer.

A few days ago, a guy called me "COCKTEASER" (among other romantic nicknames). Admitting his anger at the time, yesterday I returned to the place where I knew I would find him to talk to him. I think everything has been resolved, considering that it's already 6:30 in the morning and I'm heading home in a taxi. It's hard to type on a screen as small as a mobile phone's between sudden stops and lane changes. Moreover, this time the guy made me pay dearly for the other night. I can barely sit comfortably in the taxi, given how he's fucked me repeatedly since I arrived at his house. And I've been looking up references to that word on the internet, although it may sound stupid.

ROYAL SPANISH ACADEMY DICTIONARY (DRAE)

m. and f. vulg. colloq. Person who sexually arouses a man without intending to satisfy him.

CURRENT SPANISH DICTIONARY (FBBVA)

adj. (vulgar) Person (esp. woman) who sexually arouses a man but refuses to have intercourse.

HTTPS://es.wictionary.org

Noun. m. and f. Person who intentionally arouses sexual desire in a man without intending to satisfy it.

WORDREFERENCE.COM

Com. Vulgar. Insult used to describe a person who sexually arouses a man without intending to satisfy the provoked desire.

From all this, and much more that I've consulted and read (but a single example is enough), it can be understood that:

1) "The" (not "those") cockteasers are "esp. women". And the victims are men. We shouldn't expect dictionaries to go much further.

2) Therefore, apart from the machismo that assumes our rich language doesn't have terms like "pussy teaser" or similar, it can be inferred that certain concepts can equally apply to sex and relationships between men.

3) That in many cases, relationships between men develop the traditional roles typically assumed by men and women, which has always caught my attention.

I don't have scientific or anthropological knowledge to explain why sex between men often reproduces the behaviors, roles, attitudes, and power imbalance traditionally associated with the relationship between men and women.

What I'm clear about is that I was the one who returned to that bar. I was the one who returned, yes. Not only did I expose myself to that guy telling me to fuck off in front of a lot of strangers. I was the one who tried to pass off my desire to apologize as education.

It was me who, despite everything, had ended up jerking off in his bed that morning, with his image etched in my mind.

I was the one who lowered my head, who gave explanations, who, by showing up uninvited, ended up showing my cards.

I feel a special pleasure that comes from feeling punished like a bad bitch, from having settled a debt. I try to fight against this attraction to submission, to the punishment that one seeks and secretly enjoys.