Life went on, and there was nothing left to do but wait for P to return from his vacation. As I said before, something had happened that changed many things.

He finally arrived, and it was an indescribable emotion.

On the one hand, I put aside what I was experiencing with sex and BDSM for a while, because with men, I only wanted to do it with him.

What we felt during sex, together, was beyond description. We discovered almost everything together. Soon, penetration arrived, me to him, but also him to me. Forgive me for not going into details. There's not much to tell because it wasn't about BDSM, and I didn't do what I had learned up to that point. Everything happened naturally, and it was wonderful. We made love every day, one, two, or even three times. That was a true learning experience in sex.

What did happen was that, over time, we adapted to what our bodies called for in sex, because, although my friend and I fucked and enjoyed each other equally, giving and receiving, time made me develop my active side and my friend his passive side.

It didn't matter because the beauty was in the couple we made and how well everything worked out due to each one's tendency to be a certain way.

Of course, what happened was that I, who knew or had known the attraction women had provoked in me since I was little, had lost my virginity with men while I had a girlfriend.

Had that attraction changed by chance?

Back then (the late 80s), it wasn't vital to have lost one's virginity, but it was becoming natural to do so.

He made me see heaven every time. But it was becoming urgent that I do it specifically with my girlfriend, if she allowed me to, because I had a new girlfriend from college, and I also wanted her.

Some of you might say that I was cheating. I won't explain, but I swear it wasn't cheating; it was something else. It should be something natural, having your best friend to play with while growing in love with your girlfriend. Remember, my friend wasn't gay, despite everything he did with me. It was something else. In fact, life took him to get married, and he has three children now, and he's happily married.

You can love two people at the same time in this context; I'm clear about it because I lived it.

But let's go back to that year when something inside me had changed, and I could feel internal confusion. I had an emotional burden on me, like a weight that made me feel guilty, and it started to cost me to approach the fact of having sex with my girlfriend for the first time.

On a trip we took that year with college friends, I faced that issue. Also, it helped that we were in bed kissing, etc., and at that moment, the five friends I shared a room with arrived.

So, I stayed there sleeping with her, in a spooning position, and with the excitement of not making noise, I started to touch her and eventually entered her. It was wonderf...