Here I am... Desperately searching for a man, a master, a dominant macho to be his... But in Vitoria it seems impossible or at least I don’t know how to look.

I have taken for granted that this is how I want to live my life, and sometimes I have the anxiety to remember, to feel again when I had my macho on top of me, pumping me, kissing me... Damn... I was so happy, now that I remember it I feel like crying.

Yesterday I went to Gopegui, a place for cruising, I don’t like those places but I was already craving it, I needed to feel used by another guy, so I cleaned myself up and went there, completely nervous.

There were a few cars, it was hot for this time of year, so I wore a hoodie and shorts and went to see if someone would do me a favor. If I see older men I get closer to see if they say something. There’s one with his cock out and I ask him if I can give him a blowjob and he says yes, he must be around 60, has a nice cock and I get on my knees and put it in my mouth... damn that feels so good, he grabs my head and I let him do it, I close my eyes and enjoy.

I hear some footsteps behind and see another guy standing next to me, this one is young, about 30 years old, I go to his cock and suck both, the older man lifts me up and pulls down my pants, I let him do it while I suck the young one.

Suddenly he starts eating my ass and I see stars... He stands up and starts putting it in, I have it tight and it hurts and I struggle but I desire it so much...

He starts fucking and suddenly the young guy, turned on by seeing me being fucked, shoves it all the way in and comes... He shoots such bursts that it’s unbelievable and I’m going straight to heaven... Remembering the loads from my man, I only use this sex to remember and relive when I was with my macho, when he was the one who came...

I’m gently cleaning up when I feel the older man coming as well... It’s an incredible feeling, there’s nothing better in this world.

I clean him with my mouth and thank them, pull up my pants and go to the car, start it up and leave... Happy, with a feeling of guilt, it’s a strange mix, I feel it’s a substitute for what I really want, my man, my macho, dominant, macho, old-fashioned... to take care of him, pamper him, attend to him, make him food, do the housework and be his whore in bed.