I often find myself thinking and I decided that I could write down my thoughts on paper, and time and time again the same question keeps repeating in my head: what strange feeling has led me to be submissive?, a question that has been haunting me throughout my life. Now I'm 41 years old and this question has been haunting me since I was a child, at a young age I discovered a strange feeling in me, the boys my age were interested in women, I wasn't.

The other boys would imagine or fantasize about the most unimaginable positions or acts with the most beautiful women in the universe, my head fantasized about other feelings, being dominated by a man, I didn't need to have sex with a man to fulfill my fantasy, my fantasy was and is being dominated by a man, feeling inferior or feeling superior to the man I'm with, knowing that he has the power and control over me, that he can ask me anything he wants and that I must obey, knowing that I'm his object and I must please him, and of course knowing that he can inflict pain on me if he desires.

I like pain when I know it's being inflicted on me by a man, if you ask me if I like sadomasochism, I say no, I say I like submission, being an object for a man, loving that man and enjoying my pain together, that man is a desire for me and this desire multiplies when he has authority or dominance over me.

During my adolescence and also during my youth, this feeling grew, my fantasies over time solidified my preferences and tastes, when someone likes something, they think about it, look for things about it, want to see things about it, my fantasies have made me have no doubt about my submissive tastes.

As the years passed, I knew with certainty what attracted me, domination - submission, I delved deeper into this world of domination, but it was all fantasies, I didn't know what feelings a submissive could feel when being dominated, I wanted to know what it feels like to give your body and mind to a master, as some of you may know, it's sad to feel submissive and not be able to be dominated, not have the opportunity to demonstrate your submission to another person, for this reason, it was time to have my first real experience with a dominant man.

We all remember our first contact with sex, an experience that we don't forget, for better or for worse, a submissive or dominant person can have the pleasure of having two memories, the memory of the first time they made love with another person and the memory of the first time they surrendered to domination - submission, both memories will always have a space in my heart and a moment to remember.

In my first "sadomasochistic" experience, I was able to feel feelings that I had never had before, I felt that my body belonged to another person, kneeling at the feet of my master, I could see that this was what I had always wanted, his feet were a desire that I had to care for with all my sweetness and gentleness, I felt the n...